Thursday, December 15, 2011

Droid Eris…

If you see this phone, run…. (here is a “non-love letter to my wonderful Eris)

Dear Droid Eris,

I regret to tell you a few choice things today. Although I have had 5 of you in the last two years, I still absolutely HATE you! I realize what you are thinking.. hate is such a strong word, have a heart, but no.. it’s genuinely true.

You have no regard for my stress level, when I hit the “phone” button & literally count.. 1…2…3 before you kick into gear. Some days you don’t even decide to charge at all, you just lie on my countertop with a charger plugged into your bottom side, but no charging, none at all. You remember when I tried to only text a one line message to my brother, and your stupid scroll ball had a spec of a dust particle in it? I do, I wished to type “I will be there at 5” but instead came up with “ wil bl e I tha5t ere”. No one could understand that lingo even in this crazy world! And, yes, this has indeed happen more than just that ONE time. Last but not least, I realize you are truly jealous of my obsession with FaceBook… I really don’t care, but you NEED to actually give me my notifications. You need to “refresh” yourself on a regular basis as well, if not for me & FaceBook, then for yourself at least.

Overall Eris, the main reason I have stayed with you this long is because I get a new one of you every 6 months. The other reason, may or may not be because I haven’t had the funds necessary to Smash you on the cement outside of my house. Many a time, I have screamed at you, I know, but I have refrained from slamming you down on any flat surface that is in my vicinity. I don’t wish for others to feel I am a violent person, but Eris, once your 2 years are up in 2 more weeks, I will be not only be kicking you to the curb… I will be kicking you to the muddy, snow-covered curb, only after I smash you into a zillion piece. I know some might think this is silly, why wouldn’t I sell you, some might ask?! Because I want no one to suffer the pain I have.. having a “smartphone” that is so dumb!

With no love lost,

Katrina <3

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha... I loved this non-love letter. But, I do feel sad for you that your phone is so frustrating. :) I hope that the new year brings you a smarter smart phone!